Thoughts on a friend’s wisdom

When you wake in the morning, try consciously letting out a deep exhale. This will allow you then to take a longer inhale and will make a difference to your experience of waking up.

Watching the autumn leaves swan-dive from the trees, listening to the sound of the morning birds or mindfully stirring and enjoying your spoonfuls of warm porridge – conscious awareness of and appreciation for these moment will change your entire day. I started this morning watching the beauty of multicoloured leaves sliding through the autumn air.

If you feel like life’s woes have a firm hold on you, I would like to tell you about an insightful discussion that I recently had with a good friend of mine.  She told me she was feeling quite miserable, in a constant state of worry, and having sleepless nights. Some colleagues of hers had recently made unintentionally hurtful comments that had sent her into a spiral of negativity.

She said that she really did not want to be worrying or stressing in this way and she knew that it was actually easier for her to worry. She knew she was subjecting herself to stress and negativity and she knew that because the path of least resistance is often to succumb to feeling miserable, she was in fact choosing to worry.

When she realised she was actually choosing to worry, she became immediately aware that she could also choose not to worry.

So instead of allowing herself to feel upset about comments that were outside of the boundaries of her control, she decided not to let that affect her emotional state. Simple as that. What a great lesson and a fantastic inspiration my friend’s shift in perspective was?

I am so proud of friends that capture this awareness. It takes a great deal of emotional intelligence to give ourselves the permission to feel bad and at the same time to CHOOSE NOT TO.

So next time you feel a work-life/college-life/love-life drama envelop you; the next time you feel sad, unloved, unwanted, alone, unsuccessful, whatever it is – Ask yourself this:

Am I choosing to feel this way? Am I choosing to let this affect me? Can I choose to not let this affect me?

The illusion that life is dependent on your outside circumstances prevails and yet it is your creative paradigm that aligns your life. Create the shift by looking beyond what you initially perceive as your reality. It is not always easy to do but the option is always there.

Go for a walk, make some of your favourite herbal tea, share a story with your family, write a letter, ring a friend, think of some recent success of a loved one, read an inspiring book or simply make a conscious choice to redirect your thoughts to more positive aspects of your current circumstance. Give yourself the right to do absolutely nothing for a while and see how your mind and body responds to silence. By finding those things that you can be grateful for (and they are there!!) your world and your life really can be moulded by YOU!

Choosing your thoughts is a sure-fire way to influence how you feel. Positive thoughts evidently attract positive feelings. 

When you think there just seems to be too many stumbling blocks, you must look around them, change your focus, for just beyond what you are seeing lies what really exists. The perception that your life is dependent on your circumstances is a misrepresentation of the truth that must be unlearned. It is your own thought patterns and your own alignment and application of your creativity with your true passions that decide your destiny.

Create the shift tomorrow morning by releasing that deep exhale, taking that long inhale and opening your mind to look beyond any negativity you might first perceive. ‘Throw those curtains wide…” It is not always easy to do but the option is forever there for you to choose.

Thank you for reading what I am learning, yours, Helen.

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