So I have a 12 week old baby girl and we are still completely beside ourselves with her newness.
Her pure innocent, wide eyed curiosity is enchanting. Her way of looking at things for the first time a dream of wishes. She uses her hands now and realises they are an extension of herself, she sits up. Its pretty cool stuff.
Like the velveteen rabbit she is surely becoming real to us. Unlike the VR however her hair is growing, her eyes are sparkling and her fingers and toes are fleshing out as she suckles all night long.
As I watch her grow I am truly amazed that it is my own body that is feeding her. If my body didnt astound me enough during pregnancy, it surely is now.
I hope to exclusively breastfeed until she is ready to want to try some food, whenever that may be. I am told circa 6 months. At the moment she is happy with Mamas milk.
The last few nights she has been feeding constantly, every 1.5 hours. I cant even pretend that the lack of sleep doesnt get to me. It does! I was so cranky when David finally came in from work today (6.05pm) but as a wise friend of mine recently remarked: ‘The days are long but the years are short.’ Its a good new mantra to not let myself wish for things to be different or beg for sleep.
Abigail has already changed so much from her new born days and we are emerging from the fourth trimester fully intact!
But here I must admit defeat, I was very excited about starting yoga classes once she was three months old – just one class a week – I thought perfect. One hour 15 minutes at 8pm when she is fast asleep will be great, get to know some new yogis, get back into the teaching headspace, an hour to myself, something I know I would enjoy here in our new studio. As the time drew near and people were signing up, Abigail was getting fiercer and fiercer in her need to hug me to sleep in the evenings. She wants to be close, she loves her bath, it all takes time and it never happens at a set time really – it could be 7, it could be 9, there is no schedule in place.
Therefore I gave in, I said okay babe, you are 12 weeks old, I love you so so much, launching classes will simply have to wait. What is important is that you feel safe on this earth, secure in the knowledge that I will always be here, your source of warmth, food, shelter and love. You are just not ready to be left in the evenings and I am embracing that. So to those lovelies that were looking to start class I am going to give her another few weeks of settling into the world. She is too precious, she deserves it. Thank YOU for your patience.