Can we stay tonight? Just a little longer, til tomorrow?
Forging our way through, an unearthly view. Seeing what we had not known.
The front house, our old beautiful house, standing at least for 100 years, saw a mushroom re-sprouting from behind the skirting board in December!
All our eco attempts to let the fungus breath, to remove the bad wood, to deseed, to source the moisture, to spray it away, failed.
It came back. With a Vengeance. So we sat it out til 2015 arrived and decided to tackle it then. Hopeful and Wildly unprepared for the utter extent of the disruption to come.
We couldn’t stay while we got the specialists in. The men that came with their damp proofing gear, their treatments have promised it won’t come back after this.
So we have been living out of bags (literally because we were in denial about leaving and didn’t pack properly at all). Staying with friends, family, cheap hotels. THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU THAT HAVE SUPPORTED US THROUGH THIS. We leaned on so many.
It sounds dramatic but it has been turmoil, a topsy-turvy ride with many ups and downs, sets back, turnarounds and unforeseen expenditures… and its already the end of February.
The house was gutted in September 2012, we broke it down ourselves, fixed it back up ourselves, rebuilt most of it. And now we have gutted the whole old part once again. NO ONE SAID THIS WAS GOING TO BE EASY.
We were just tucking ourselves in, cosy, a place to call our own, a project to assign upon our zealous bodies. We had begun to thrust our roots down deep here, into the sweet moist mountain soil… when suddenly we had to leave.
PATIENCE. It is essential. Dave has it in droves. I often lack it.
The things we love about this place have been reignited for us though. A beautiful big space, so many rooms, high ceilings, coving, old walls, original brick work, wooden floors, pretty feature fire places. I loved it when we first walked in and I love it even more now. Every little piece of work that goes in is a piece of us making its mark on the energy here.
Now even more than ever I long for it to be a retreat space. A space full of love and learning. With a community here meditating. People coming and going, bringing love and eating vegan food together, laughing together, finding peace in the hills, comfort in the birds singing so keenly in the morning and truly embracing the life that has been here before and continues to be created.
Now I sit in a makeshift kitchen-cum-sitting room-cum dining room that we cobbled together in the newer extension and I am already feeling at home again. When we came back after two weeks of Dublin, Arklow, Dun Laoghaire, Kinsale, Cork, we knew for sure this is our forever house. I almost ran to the river. I hugged every tree along the way. They welcomed me with open arms. I whispered back to the river and to the earth.
Our roots are still tangled, we are to be dug up again, dusted off, I know the next two weeks we cant be here all the time. It wont be possible with more treatment to happen in the hallway. But I am more ready for it now. More at ease with the process, the time these things take I can accept somehow knowing now this home is where I am most at peace and want to be.
The land, the hundreds of thousands of stars that sing to us at night, this house gutted and rebuilt over again is our sanctuary. I call on all the meditation I can do, all the yoga Ive done over the years, all the support of the stars that shine bright in my life to live in the here and now with this process, with my husband, whose infinite knowledge of how to deal with this never ceases to amaze me. I remain thankful for all that we have been given.
The house seemed to explode into tiny pieces, and is coming back together in a less shattered more beautiful, less jagged form and it is still wishing for revival, calling for us to bring it back to life.
So tonight before I make my way to the city again in the morning, I will make us a healing adzuki bean stew with butternut squash and amaranth to remind myself that the true spirit of love lies in creation.
CAN WE STAY HERE FOREVER?